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 Naethyn, The A-Ranked Missing Nin

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Naet-chan
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PostSubject: Naethyn, The A-Ranked Missing Nin   Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:42 am

My sections are in the [*spoiler*] form so that the application does not take up a lot of room and is easy to go through, sorry, if this was an inconvenience, but I thought it made it easier to look at.

~General Information~

Name: Naethyn

Nickname/Alias: Shinigami, which translates to God of Death

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Weight: 143.45 lbs

Height: 5"11 (Five foot Eleven)

Appearance:
Spoiler:
 

Personality:
Spoiler:
 

Catch Phrase: When you see this eye, your death comes next.

~Rank/Village Information~

Classification: Missing Nin

Village: Originated from Konohagakure

Letter Rank: High A Ranked Ninja

~Clan & Weapon Information~

Clan Name: The Oji Clan

Kekkei Genkai: The Storm Release, the Arashigan, or Eye of the Storms, allows the user to manipulate the Suiton, water, and Raiton, Lightning, elements as one to create a Storm Release. Another use of the Arashigan is the ability to use genjutsu inside their secret Thunderstorm Jutsu. The Arashigan is a blue eye with a black septagram or seven pointed star inside it.

Clan Symbol: The Septagram

Secret Jutsu:
Spoiler:
 

Clan History:
Spoiler:
 

~Weapon Creation~

Name: Tokadai (Extra Large) Shuriken
Rank: B
Appearance: It is made of a nice dark steel that has the ability to absorb the chakra properties of the holder. When absorbed, it has no limit, especially when it comes to Wind, because wind Chakra blades, cut through most anything.
Abilities: Along with the chakra absorbing metal, the Tokadai Shuriken can also absorb jutsus, such as Naethyn's Raikou Menshoku no Jutsu, and discharge electrical bolts.

~Jutsu~
Academy Jutsu
Spoiler:
 
Lightning Style
Spoiler:
 
Water Style
Spoiler:
 
Summoning
Spoiler:
 


~Skill Information~

Element Specialty:
Main: Raiton (Lightning)
Sub: Suiton (Water)

Skill Specialty:
Main: Ninjutsu
Sub: Weaponry

~History/Rp Sample~

History:
Spoiler:
 

Rp Sample: This is an RP Sample, I made of my application to be Jounin on another site, I believe its about 1100 words
Spoiler:
 


Last edited by Naet-chan on Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:59 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Amaya

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PostSubject: Re: Naethyn, The A-Ranked Missing Nin   Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:51 pm

1. No to your Kekkei Genkai. It absorbs chakra and renders taijutsu useless? No, not acceptable. And there's no such thing as Taijutsu chakra either. Chakra can be used in taijutsu, but it's not a specific kind of chakra.

2. Raikou Menshoku no Jutsu - Lightning Discharge Jutsu. No. There's so many things wrong with this jutsu, it's not even funny. (no offense or anything) It's like you took Chidori making it a lower rank but yet making it stronger as you can throw it. And the S-rank is Kirin, no question about it.

3. Raikou Shukkou no Jutsu - Lightning Transfer Jutsu. Absorb Lightning? That's just... wrong. With chakra, lightning can be formed, but to absorb lightning, no. To be able to even absorb lightning, you'd have to be in a lightning storm in the first place. And that would make it A to S rank as you would have to manipulate lightning to gather it towards you. So no.

4. Ryuuiki Banshou no Jutsu - River Creation Jutsu. You state that you use Natural Chakra in this. That means that your character has completed sage training with the frogs and became a sage, but your character didn't. So they couldn't use natural chakra or else they'd turn into a frog.

5. Ryuuiki Banshou no Jutsu - River Creation Jutsu. Another thing on this. Describe your A rank part better. You more just explained the pool of lightning jutsu.

6. Issui Soujuu no Jutsu - Water Manipulation Jutsu. This is a lot like Water Release: Water Cannon Replica.

7. Please write your history in arcs please. We like details here.

Please take care of these things. Thank you ^.^
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Naet-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Naethyn, The A-Ranked Missing Nin   Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:48 pm

I will probably change the Kekkei Genkai to a Storm Release Doujutsu, is that fine? What do you mean in arcs? Never heard that term before, and I know the History is kind of lacking. And by Taijutsu Chakra, I meant the chakra used in Taijutsu, because it makes direct contact with the caster.

For my Raikou Menshoku, the Lightning Discharge, if I take out the throwable part and change the "S" rank part, can I still have it. I never saw a forbidden jutsu list so I assumed that Kirin would not be allowed, so I guess I deserved that, but Chidori? I mean it's almost the foundation of Lightning Style.

The Lightning Transfer was used by Fuuin, or whatever her name was in the Shippuden, where the Lightning transferred through her body into the River she created and shocked the crap out of Naruto. I figured I could transfer the Lightning through blades, shuriken, kunais, and my own body, but I guess absorbing it is a little too far because in a Lightning storm, I'd be invincible.

The River Creation Jutsu, I'll fix that I shouldv'e put something along the lines of using water chakra to take water from a nearby source, such as ground water, and bring in to the surface to create a layer of water on the ground or even create a river. The "A" Rank part is described like the "D" rank part of the Lightning Discharge, it's saying that the reason it is even considered an "A" rank jutsu is because it can be combined with another jutsu to make a Storm Release type thing.

The Issui Soujuu, the Water Manipulation, if water is my secondary element can't I use the Water Release: Water Sky Convergence jutsu because it is pretty much the same thing but the Water Sky Convergence was created by Ruiga and Naethyn created the Issui Soujuu, same technique different style.
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PostSubject: Re: Naethyn, The A-Ranked Missing Nin   Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:57 pm

Quote :
Please write your history in arcs please. We like details here.
Thats ok do what he wants to.

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Naet-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Naethyn, The A-Ranked Missing Nin   Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:00 pm

I got permission from Ferb to have those jutsus, thats for the output though Amaya, you helped me out with them
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PostSubject: Re: Naethyn, The A-Ranked Missing Nin   Fri Apr 23, 2010 11:24 pm

APPROVED

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